Thursday, February 7, 2008

Jewish Haiku


These were sent to me by a client, I am still laughing at them days later.


Beyond Valium,

Peace is knowing one's child

Is an internist.



On Passover we

Opened the door for Elijah.

Now our cat is gone.



Her lips near my ear,

Aunt Sadie whispers the name

Of her friend's disease.



Today I am a man.

Tomorrow I will return

To the seventh grade.



The sparkling blue sea

Reminds me to wait an hour

After my sandwich.



Like a bonsai tree,

Is your terrible posture

At my dinner table.



Jews on safari --

Map, compass, elephant gun,

Hard sucking candies.



The same kimono

The top geishas are wearing:

I got it at Loehmann's.



Mom, please! There is no

Need to put that dinner roll

In your pocketbook.



Seven-foot Jews in

The NBA slam-dunking!

My alarm clock rings.



Sorry I'm not home

To take your call. At the tone

Please state your bad news.



Is one Nobel Prize

So much to ask from a child

After all I've done?



Today, mild shvitzing.

Tomorrow, so hot you'll plotz.

Five-day forecast: feh



Yenta. Shmeer. Gevalt.

Shlemiel. Shlimazl. Meshuganah

Oy! To be fluent!



A lovely nose ring,

Excuse me while I put my

Head in the oven.




Hard to tell under the lights.

White Yarmulke or

Male-pattern baldness



2 comments:

reba_blogger said...

Hey Christian. Enjoyable blog. Do you still have the post about the Y3 party on Tuesday? The one where you mentioned Nathan Bogle who I was a major fan of in his modelling days and haven't seen in a while. Thanks

Christian Grattan said...

Thanks for checking out my blog.

I posted that yesterday. I shot that for a magazine and a couple minutes after posting it I took it down. I figured it would be better for them get first crack at the images.

It is up now however, so check it out.

Thanks again,

Christian